Being the Glue

The peacekeeper, the caretaker, the hovering-nagging-pestering-maternal-figure.  Those are all me.  Those are my roles in our family.
My moms says I am the glue, which is a huge compliment!
It refers to a book that she and I read several years ago when we had the opportunity to hear author Kelly Corrigan speak:

The story is about understanding and respecting the different roles we fill in the lives of those we love.  It’s a fairly quick read, heart-warming, and thought-provoking.  If you’ve not yet read it, I highly recommend picking up a copy.
Now, back to being the glue.
When I was 9 years old, I gained a bonus grandmother when my mom remarried.  Mema wrapped me in her love from day one.  My childhood memories are filled with visits to stay with Mema, helping her cook meal after meal, cutting patterns on her huge kitchen island as she taught me to sew, and sharing our special day – November 3rd is my birthday and her and Papa Jim’s anniversary.
She showed me how to love people for exactly who they are.  Her home was always open to all who wanted or needed to be there.  Coffee was always ready and her mystery cookies (made of oatmeal and chocolate chips and pecans and who knows what else as there was no recipe card) were always fresh made.  Her front door was a revolving door, and as a little kid, I adored seeing people come through; I loved being part of those visits.  She never shoo’ed us youngsters out of the room, she never judged, she always included everyone, and Mema beautifully modeled for me what it is to have an open heart.
She was the glue.

Today, Mema will take her last breath.  The family has been called in.  Her body is tired and completely give out.  It breaks our hearts, and yet I know she is ready.  While giving so many people so much love and comfort, she has endured great physical pain over the years.  I want her to feel peace.  My hope, my wish, my prayer is that she knows how immensely she touched and taught and trained me.  That she knows how much I love and adore her and all the moments we had together.
A great many people have shaped who I am today, and Mema is right at the top of that list.
If I am the glue, it’s because I had examples like Mema to show me the way.
Thank you, Mema – I love you!
All my love and hugs until we meet again,
Ashli