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Mending the Mind

July 21, 2021

Mental health is quite a buzzword these days. And rightly so! Taking care of ourselves – mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually – should be at the top of our To Do list.

Period. That last sentence doesn’t need any qualifiers, descriptors, nor added details.

But our To Do lists get long; they start to feel overwhelming. That’s when the chaos takes over and I start to struggle, feeling so far behind on “everything” that there is no reason to work on anything.

Sadly, that’s where I’ve been the past 6 weeks.

On Saturday, June 12th, I hosted an 8-hour Zoom party for Quilt 2 End ALZ‘s annual event to raise funds for the Alzheimer’s Association and to participate in The Longest Day.

It was a wonderful day! Eight hours is a long time to be online, yet our virtual sew-in was fabulous. I ended the day feeling an incredible sense of community. It was a great step in our mission to connect quilters with the fight to end Alzheimer’s disease.

On Sunday, June 13th, Coach hosted a football camp for high school athletes, so I spent all afternoon and evening helping with registration, watching camp, and then meeting potential new players and their families. Another awesome day – I love being an extended part of our football program! Being a coach’s wife is not always easy, but without a doubt I would not want to be anything else.

On Monday, June 14th, I was tired.

I’d been going, going, going for weeks…getting the TLD event ready, finishing the manuscript for my first book, working on my next yoga certification, running to this, and hustling to that.

My normal morning routine is to hop on the Peloton for a cycle class, then do a light arm workout and a few minutes of core, and finally a yoga flow to stretch. Next, I shower, get dressed, and start a load of laundry. Once all that is done, I grab my computer, a big glass of ice water, and the dogs and I head to the back patio to work.

But I just couldn’t get started that day, so I skipped my workout. Then I skipped my shower. And finally, I skipped my treasured outdoor time which meant I never even opened the laptop.

I don’t know what I did that day. Nor the next.

Turned out that entire week was a bust. I didn’t get a single thing done.

So now we are to June 21st, and I can’t believe that I don’t have the thank you’s sent from the TLD event, and I don’t have the door prizes ready to ship. On top of that, I don’t have the quilt finished that I started at the event, I don’t have the TLD pattern ready to launch in the online store, I don’t have the next block done for my block of the month blog commitment, and I don’t have the 7 quilts started that I promised to do for other people.

All of a sudden, I really didn’t want to quilt. I didn’t want to work on my yoga course. I didn’t want to tackle paperwork. I didn’t want to look at my myriad of unfinished projects. I couldn’t face my To Do list and all the things that I was behind on doing.

So that week transformed into the next, and still I did nothing.

Then I got a reprieve…I left to go to Texas for two weeks.

But the guilt of all I wasn’t getting accomplished was a heavy burden. Literally – I carried a whole suitcase of fabric, blocks, and need-to-be-done quilt projects as well as a sewing machine, my laptop, and an extra-large tote bag of paperwork, bills, and course work that I had to get done.

I felt tremendously weighted down both physically and figuratively. And that’s a terrible feeling.

At this point, you will not be the least bit surprised to read that I got almost none of that stuff done while I was gone.

I did play Canasta and 42 with my family, enjoy the July 4th weekend, and read several good books, telling myself all the while that I would get everything done just as soon as I was back home.

Which gets us up to last week, Monday, July 12th…the day I opened my email to find 4,357 new emails that I had conveniently ignored over the past month.

I closed the computer and picked up another book, my avoidance technique still guiding my life.

Now, it is Wednesday, July 21st.

I have effectively wasted 6 weeks of life simply because I could not discipline myself enough to get $#!^ done. I’m embarrassed to reach out to my quilt community whom I have let down in big ways. I’m frustrated that I am behind on every idea and project that I wanted to do this summer, and I am still fighting the urge to crawl in bed and find a Netflix series to occupy my time for another few days.

I can always tell when Coach needs what I call a “mental health moment.” It’s when he needs a haircut. If he hasn’t found 20 minutes to run and get a haircut in the past month or two, I know that he is working ’round the clock, his sleep is suffering, he’s probably not eating, and he’s just about out of fuel. He’s not keeping himself on his To Do list.

And I think that is what I did. Over the last six weeks, I let myself feel so much guilt over that damned To Do list that I took myself – my mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health – right off of it.

I told myself that taking a break – a mental health moment – was a form of failure. I told myself that not having the projects and the laundry and the housecleaning and the quilts and the book and the yoga class and the shopping and the cooking all done to perfection was another failure. I told myself that I am a failure.

But I’m not.

Today, I hopped on the Peloton for a cycle class, did an arm workout followed by some core work and a stretch. Then I showered and dressed. After that I ran a few errands and even indulged in a manicure and pedicure at the nail salon preparing for a fun staff event this weekend.

I sent the rest of the TLD door prizes, I answered several work emails, and as I type I am writing to mend my mind…to fix the funk I’ve been feeling.

Tonight, Coach is taking me out to a nice dinner.

And tomorrow, I will enjoy my workout (yoga with my football boys), run home to shower and dress, and then get on with my day.

I’ll be okay. I am okay. In fact, I’m better than okay – I’m fantastic.

I’m still behind on everything. I still have an out-of-control, completely ridiculous To Do list.

But, I’m back at the top of it.

I hope you’re at the top of your’s as well!

With love and hugs,

Ashli

PS: I worried about sharing these thoughts. I can hear my audience saying, “Yeah, poor, poor Ashli, living the easy life, “working” from home…we should feel real sorry for her!” But the reality is, regardless of our circumstances, we all get into ruts, we all struggle from time to time. I am a big believer that we choose how we want to approach life, how we will tackle the day. Just as it is my job to make myself happy, it is also my job to take care of myself. No one else is responsible for that. Only me. Therefore, it is also my duty – to myself – to refocus when needed. Right now I am refocusing on feeling, doing, and being “better” than I was yesterday. Thanks for being a shoulder to lean on 💛

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MEET ASHLI

 

Wife, mom, reader, writer, business owner, quilter, and advocate to end Alzheimer’s.

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Searching for the perfect Christmas gift? 🎄✨ Searching for the perfect Christmas gift? 🎄✨ Imagine the joy of unwrapping a story that warms the heart and uplifts the spirit. My books, nestled under your tree, are more than just gifts; they're gateways to the charming world of Green Hills, filled with love, laughter, and a touch of magic. Each page is a cozy embrace, perfect for those cherished quiet moments during the festive season. Give the gift of heartwarming tales this Christmas and let the magic of storytelling brighten your holidays.  #ChristmasGiftIdeas #BookishPresents #HolidayReading y #HeartwarmingStories
🎼 Did you know I create a "soundtrack" to accom 🎼 Did you know I create a "soundtrack" to accompany each of my books? 🎶

Well, if you're in the mood for holiday tunes, head over to @spotify, search for Virginia'dele Smith, click playlists, and crank up the music that inspired Book 5: Undeveloped Love 🎄

It's just the thing to bring you joy and ignite your holiday spirit!

Always hold a song in your heart ❤️
With love and hugs,
Ashli

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When do you decorate for Christmas? #decorationdeb When do you decorate for Christmas? #decorationdebate
It's December 🎁 Tis the season for shopping and It's December 🎁 Tis the season for shopping and decorating and parties and food! AND for Christmas — the event, not just the holiday.

This month's #ScriptureSunday posts come directly from THE Christmas story, the birth of baby Jesus. And in a world full of fear, sadness, struggle, and strife, I think Luke 2:10 is a great place to begin...a perfect reminder of the joy and beauty and hope we have received ❤️

Have a blessed week!
With love and hugs,
Ashli

 #sundayscripture #wordstoliveby #biblestudy #reading #writing #live #learn #livingbyfaith #blessed #gracemakers #faithbased #inspiration #faithfamily #shebelieves #christianwriter #powerofaprayingwife #prayingformybabies #blessthisworld #hope #faith #love #choosejoy
Hello, friends! I'm Ashli Montgomery, but you migh Hello, friends! I'm Ashli Montgomery, but you might know me better as Virginia'dele Smith, my pen name inspired by the strong, loving women in my family. As an author, I'm all about weaving tales that are close to my heart. Each of my books is a little piece of me, filled with love, laughter, and the coziness of small-town life. They're written with the hope of bringing you joy, comfort, and a sense of belonging. I invite you to dive into my stories, find a bit of yourself in them, and join me in the charming world of Green Hills. Happy reading! 📖❤️✨ #HeartwarmingReads #BookCommunity #BookwormLife #FeelGoodFiction #GreenHills
✨Step into the world of 'Undeveloped Love' with ✨Step into the world of 'Undeveloped Love' with our exclusive Juniper Tree Farm Ornament.  Hand-painted by Samantha Osborn, each ornament captures the essence of the enchanting Christmas tree farm from our favorite romance. It’s a perfect token to remember the love and magic that blossoms in Green Hills. Add a touch of Aunt Juni’s tree farm to your festive decor. Available now – immerse yourself in the holiday spirit of Green Hills! 🌲❄️ #UndevelopedLove #HolidayCheer #ArtisanOrnaments
It's our final "1st Day Free" for 2023... Have yo It's our final "1st Day Free" for 2023...

Have you downloaded your complimentary copy of Grocery Girl?

Today's your day — your last chance to take advantage of this promo ✅

It's been a blast!

Over the course of the year, more than 1️⃣0️⃣,0️⃣0️⃣0️⃣ readers have downloaded Grocery Girl. She regularly ranks as a best-seller in several Amazon categories, including  Clean & Wholesome Romance, Quilting Books, Small Town & Rural Fiction, Inspirational Fiction, Christian Romance, and a few other "vanity" categories. Best of all, reviews and feedback continue to delight 🙏

THANK YOU to each and every one of you who make my writing adventure a reality!

Have a blessed and merry December 🎄

Love and hugs,
Ashli

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It's a new month, and you know what that means... 

Hop over to Amazon to download your free eBook today — literally TODAY, because it only happens on the 1st day of the month 😘 

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Santa’s Girls have arrived… Christmas decorati Santa’s Girls have arrived… Christmas decorating may now commence 🎄

I’ve sewn many Christmas quilts over the years, but this was my first…and the only one I’ve made for Coach. As you can imagine, it is my very favorite ❤️ Setting this quilt out signifies the holidays are here, which in turn means we’ll soon be celebrating Philip’s birthday and another anniversary, another year together - which is my favorite place to be!

What’s the first thing you do to celebrate the holidays each year?
Need a gift idea? Book 1 is great! #holidaygift Need a gift idea? Book 1 is great! #holidaygift
Have you ever ordered a book and wished it came wi Have you ever ordered a book and wished it came with a little personal touch? Well, guess what? Every single book ordered through my website gets a special sprinkle of love - my autograph! That's right, I personally sign each one because I believe it's these little connections that make the world of books so wonderful. It's my way of saying thank you for inviting my stories into your life. I hope each signed copy brings a smile to your face, just like your support does to mine!

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Order now! You know, gift wrapping is one of my fa Order now! You know, gift wrapping is one of my favorite things about the holidays.  #holidays #giftideas
Christmas is my favorite time of year, especially Christmas is my favorite time of year, especially because it's when I display my beloved quilt, "Santa's Girls." Draped over the master bed, it's not just a quilt, but a collection of warm, festive memories, making every night a cozy holiday embrace.

#ChristmasQuilting #SantaGirlsQuilt #FestiveHome #CozyChristmas #HolidayTraditions
With company in town, I had the joy of listening t With company in town, I had the joy of listening to a Bible study this morning with family. One of the ladies on the Zoom talked about a tendency to say, "surely there's a reason for this challenging chapter, this pain, this struggle." From there, the women talked about finding joy, even in those difficult times. Their conversation reminded me of this verse. I take from it that walking through fire can burn or bronze. That makes me think of sculptures and stunning art. True beauty can be the result of the heat, the flame, and the fire.

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#sundayscripture #wordstoliveby #biblestudy #reading #writing #live #learn #livingbyfaith #blessed #gracemakers #faithbased #inspiration #faithfamily #shebelieves #christianwriter #powerofaprayingwife #prayingformybabies #blessthisworld #hope #faith #love #choosejoy
Each novel is dedicated, this one is for you, Mom. Each novel is dedicated, this one is for you, Mom. 

Do you have someone in your life who deserves a heartfelt dedication? Share your story in the comments below and let's celebrate the special people who shape our lives. #DedicatedToMom #UnconditionalLove #GratefulHearts
Our first IRON BOWL and surrounded by FAMILY 🧡 Our first IRON BOWL and surrounded by FAMILY 🧡

No better way!!

#coachswifelife #footballisfamily #wareagle #gotigers #auburn #beatbama #coachmonty #mommamonty
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